Combining their tendency for milking the f*ck out of cash-cow franchises and releasing countless remakes, Nintendo has decided to remake Pokemon Crystal to appeal to a different demographic: Midwestern meth-heads.  The new version, entitled Pokemon: Crystal Meth version, is set to release early next year, with a free package of Sudafed included in the first 1,000 shipments.

continue reading "Pokemon: Crystal Meth Version"

(You hear that? It's the sound of millions of childhoods simultaneously ruined.)

According to a recent survey, Pokemon (including all series within the franchise) is consistently named as the favorite show of Americans between the ages of 6 and 12, as well as those among the 18-22 age demographic who are habitual users of marijuana.  Further research uncovered startling similarities between the two groups.

continue reading "Studies Show Pokemon Popular Among Preteens, College Stoners"

As the Indigo Plateau’s annual Pokémon League tournament nears, controversy has erupted over one of the most popular trainers over the past few months, trainer John McCain, particularly his choice of Pokémon for this series of battles.  The accusations began once he announced that he would be relying on his Palin to win the tournament.

continue reading "Trainer McCain Accused of Using Level-Up Cheat"