Gordon Freeman Gives Speech at MIT

Gordon Freeman, one of today’s most popular public speakers, recently gave a speech at MIT, where he graduated with a Ph.D. in Theoretical Physics.  Often praised for the subtle, concise, almost ethereal nature of his speeches, Mr. Freeman did not disappoint at his most recent speech.

He has been previously called “a man of few words,” as his speech will attest to:

[shuffling motions]
[silence]
[cleans, adjusts glasses]
[removes handgun, shoots random student in face]
[walks off stage to unanimous applause]

“I can’t tell you how much of an honor it was to have someone like Mr. Freeman return to our school to talk to us,” remarked ebullient freshman Thomas Renholder.  “Even though it wasn’t very conventional, I feel he told us more about ourselves than we ever could.”