Wii Music, eh?  Sounds like a nice little toy for the kids in order to kill some time…  WHOAH MAH GOD!  $50?!  For this?!  Are you nuts Nintendo?  Wii Music is nothing more than a tech demo at best.  You wave the Wii Remote in rhythm to create music.  You can wave your arms like a lunatic and still play the right notes.  And people will still buy it.  Well, not us.  Here’s a list of five things we would rather do than buy Wii Music.

5.) Go Outside

Believe it or not, there’s another world out there.  Yes indeed.  There’s a world outside the confines of your home entertainment center.  There’s a world outside of the dark and inhospitable cavern that is our headquarters.  We would rather venture into that unknown before purchasing Wii Music.  But, you ask: how do we purchase games if we never go outside?  It’s called the Internet; use it.

4.) Play Sonic 06

Sadly, our favorite hedgehog was mauled to death in this atrocity (here’s hoping Sonic Unleashed revives him).  We would rather play Sonic 06 than play Wii Music.  You know why?  Believe it or not, Sonic 06 actually has a tremendous soundtrack, unlike Wii Music, which has terrible quality sound.  I would rather play a terrible game with great music than a non-game with poor music.

3.) Buy a Playstation 3

Yes, I said it.  I would rather purchase a PS3 than give Nintendo $50 for a musical toy.  At least I’ll get a Blu-Ray player out of the deal.  Not to mention, there are a few good exclusives too such as Metal Gear Solid 4 and Little Big Planet.  In total, it comes out to be $520 (not including tax).  Money well spent, m i rite?!

2.) Watch Nintendo’s E3 08 Conference Again

At least it was hysterical.  It’s been some time since the conference, so I can talk about it without being interrupted by the popular memes and fads that came with it.  If you’re curious about the conference, here’s a recap of all that was important (with some highlights of Wii Music by the way):

1.) Re-elect George W. Bush for a Third Term

You may be thinking to yourself: why the hell elect him again?!  Simple.  Bush has the unbelievable power of sucking our American economy dry.  Think about it.  If everyone was poor… then no one could buy Wii Music!  Everybody wins if everyone loses!  Does that make sense to you?  If it does, please tell us, because we’re a little lost ourselves.